THE Coach

 

 

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I feel like quitting. I’m exhausted. It’s already triple digits outside, so today’s workout is on the treadmill.  I’m bored with the running, so I go for the “hills.”

As I adjusted the incline button on my treadmill to 8.0, the words of my high school cross country coach, coach Olson, bounced around in my head.

“When approaching a hill or any obstacle on the course, do not stop.”

I envision him in his standard navy colored dolphin short shorts and long sleeved cotton top, pacing back and forth in front of the forty or so of us teens awaiting the goal of this day’s training. It was 1980-something and probably around 60 degrees this afternoon in beautiful Arvada, Colorado.

 “If you must…slow down. But stopping will eliminate your momentum and you will lose all those seconds you worked so hard to get up to that point.” He would go on, his toothy grin hidden behind his bushy mustache, “In fact, if you can actually speed up on a hill, this will mentally exhaust your competitors who are stopping and slowing down.”

Seems counterintuitive. When you are exhausted, facing an uphill struggle, push harder.

I push the buttons on my treadmill up to 9.0

Coach would tell us, “The reward will be at the finish line.”

And as his words bounce around in my head, I am zapped. How do I find the endurance to keep going when all I want to do is jump off this machine and straight into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while tuning into whatever Netflix has recommended for me next?

I realize I can’t do this without Coach.

Coach Olson would also remind us, “After every up hill, there’s a down hill. That’s where you can rest and recover after you’ve pushed through the pain of the uphill.” 

🎵 “What goes up must come down”🎵

Peaks and Valleys of this work out and in this world. When will it be over? 

And where is the finish line?

And then, like the invisible sound waves traveling from the starting horn to my ears at the beginning of each cross country race, the words from my struggling mind are replaced by the Word bound in my heart.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12

Don’t stop…slow down

 I press the buttons down to 5.0

Before we ran our races, as a team we would walk the course beforehand, so we knew what we would be facing. We could envision and plan.

But on this treadmill of mandates, stay at home orders, political spin and unprecedented numbers, there is no perceptible finish line. 

How to plan and envision when I can’t even comprehend what I am facing? And yesterday was the same struggle, and tomorrow will be the same, and the next day, and the next day…

Any why? 

Why even do this workout? Not like there will be a 5K or a marathon to compete in anytime soon. The inability to fixate on a goal; the elusively of a finish line; the invisibility of what we all are facing…

What is the goal? What is that prize?  

Knowledge? Clinical trials? A vaccination? An election? Toilet paper?

Whatever it is, we are clearly not there yet. 

As I slow it down and breathe, I think, “Maybe, just maybe, it’s the ability to be face to face with my Coach and tell Him I didn’t give up?”

Maybe it’s just making it through this day without the mistakes of yesterday’s choices (Ben and Jerry’s 🙄) keeping me from pressing onward.

Only Coach knows.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

Not seen: Like this enemy we are all facing; Like the buttons on my treadmill as I throw the towel over them.

Unseen: Like Pushing through the temptation to give in; Fighting against discouragement taking root in the soil of my heart; Not allowing my determination & the struggle to breed anger. 

Like the Word that breathes life back into these dry bones.

I don’t know if the  finish line will be the top of the hill, if it falls mercifully at the bottom of a hill or smack dab in the middle of the fight. 

Only Coach knows.

As I meditate on His Word, in my minds eye, I envision the party at the end of all this.

I envision the tearful, exhausted embrace as I fall into my Coach’s arms as I cross the finish line. 

Truly finding rest as He rewards we with the words, “Well done, Julie, good and faithful one.”

But I am not yet there. 

Pressing the upward buttons on my treadmill and reminding myself of Coach’s Words, an invisible spirit/force encourages me into this day:

 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:13

And I re-focus on the Prize awaiting me at the finish line.

Running IS a Team Sport

And pain is temporary, but regret can last a lifetime.

Coach Simmons taught me these things

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Giving “your all” individually is important, but Coach Simmons was all about the team. 

He was all about encouraging one another.

“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

I was “knee deep” into my run today and, nearly every time I run, I think about the words of the coaches I’ve had along the way.

I could’ve used a teammate’s motivation on my run today.

My apologies, Coach Simmons. Today I gave it up only 2 1/2 miles into my solo run. “But I got a late start and it’s already almost 100° in Arizona, AND it’s a bad air day due to all the fires.” I know, excuses excuses-He wouldn’t listen to excuses. Plan better. I should’ve hydrated better yesterday – my responsibility, not the failure of a teammate. 

Again, my apologies to Coach Simmons. 

Coach Simmons wouldn’t have wanted me to stop. 

A few brief words about Coach Simmons first. 

He was worn thin to say the least.

Not only was he our head high school track coach, he was also A-West’s football coach. He was also my typing teacher and, in addition, he taught the electives of law and society. Pretty sure he had a few more classes, I just didn’t know him that well. In retrospect, I have no idea how he did all this. Because he also was the father to two of my classmates. His daughter was on the cheerleading squad and his son was on the football team. Both were on the honor roll. (Wonder where they got their drive from?)

With all this on his plate, Coach Simmons was one of the most mild mannered, kind, encouraging coaches I’ve ever had. I never once heard him raise his voice. Now some might say this type of coaching won’t get you high performing athletes. Yet, this coach’s manner still sticks with me today. Coach Simmons taught us to encourage each other, especially when we want to stop or give up.

He would tell us, “If you see one of your teammates stopping or giving up, use every bit of your breath to encourage them and pull them along with you.”

You see, Coach Simmons believed that it wasn’t about having the highest performing athlete; it was about building a team. He instilled in us healthy competition; but not at the expense of your teammates, your humanity, or your common sense when achieving these goals. He wanted athletes who gave it all, but also pulled each other along. Compete without regrets. 

And I was witness to the fact that this strategy worked. 

There were times when I was having a great day, and as I rounded that last corner of the quarter mile, when typically your legs feel like two by fours and your lungs are about to burst, I felt like I could fly; and I was able encourage a struggling teammate to “dig deep” that last 50 yards. Afterwards, they would tell me how that was the only thing that kept them going. 

More often times, I was that person needing the encouragement.

Is it laws of physics? Is it like “drafting?” Is it something deep in our cells’ structure or a brain synapse that is ignited with the right amount of positivity to push beyond the other voices in your head telling you that you can’t make it?

I can’t explain it, but I’m pretty sure Coach Simmons studied about it. 

Because it worked.

He built several relay teams that made it all the way to state. The Wildcat football team was always one of the top in the state, and often referred to as “the team to beat.” More importantly, Coach Simmons poured into the lives of so many athletes and his words and lessons live on, more than 30 years later.

Sitting in the cool of my house with a tall glass of ice water, I regret stopping. I could’ve finished. Next time…

Coach Simmons, you were right.

Another deep regret:  in my senior year after the track banquet, the team got together and TP’d (toilet papered) his house.

Wow—who knew we’d totally live to regret that??!! 

Again, Coach Simmons, my deepest apologies. 

But more importantly Coach Simmons, my extreme gratitude for being who you are and building our team. A team that looked out for those struggling. Individuals who used what they had left in their tank to build up one another. 

“He comforts me in all my trouble, so that I can comfort people who are in any trouble with the comfort with which I myself am comforted by God.”

2 Corinthians 1:4

To all the coaches, teachers, parents and individuals who take the extra time to speak into the lives of our youth; to those who are living examples of humility and kindness; to the ones who speak truth in love; to those who live the example without raising your voice or often, without using words—THANK YOU.

We’re all on the same team.

Working Harder

Working Hard

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I am so saddened to hear about the tremendous increase in unemployment claims. However, there are also many, many people right now who are working harder than they ever have. I’d like to give a shout out to all the healthcare workers, grocery store clerks, first responders, custodians, truck drivers, food service and anyone else I’ve forgotten to mention that is working hard right now 8)

—-

When I was in second or third grade, (I can’t remember exactly which grade— it has been a minute!), I remember being in a reading group called GINN. This group was for the more advanced readers and writers in English. I didn’t really have to do much to be in the group, but teachers had noticed my comprehension was more than the “average.” One day after the GINN class, the teacher took me aside and told me she saw me struggling with the reading and thought I should think about stepping down from GINN and joining the regular class. 

She gave me some time to think about it. 

The other kids had already left for gym class. I tried to catch up to them. I remember putting on my yellow shirt and grey shorts (gym uniform) and lacing up my tennis shoes when the tears started. I tried fighting back the tears, knowing if they started, I couldn’t stop them.  I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the rest of the day. I had taken pride in being a member of GINN, but had really taken it for granted. I had quit working for it and it was showing.  Shame, pride and emotion were taking me over.

As I started to run to catch up to my classmates, (not wanting to be left behind and have any more rejection to face in this day!),  I realized I couldn’t do both- cry and run hard to catch up. So I ran harder. Believe it or not, running harder helped me get through those tears. By the end of the day I’d made it without crying in front of everybody. 

The next day I gave my teacher my answer: I was going to work even harder to stay in the group, if she could just give me another chance. (It worked!)

To this day, I use the same tactics. 

When I am struggling with some thing, I lace up my shoes and I run hard— after all these years of practice, I have learned how to cry and run at the same time; however, that quickly turns into praying and running. It’s been 99.9% effective for me for whatever it is I’m struggling with.

Like now.

The last two days at work in my “essential position,” I have been struggling.

I got home Wednesday after a 10 1/2 hour shift, and I could hardly breathe. The anxiety of trying to hold a sneeze or a cough, especially during allergy season, while you’re working in a room with coworkers is hard! By the time I got home, my heart was racing, my face was flush, and I was struggling to breathe. No, I don’t have COVID-19, but yes I have been extremely anxious through this time.

I bet many of you can relate.

So I laced up my shoes and took to running hard. What I realized is, in this time, I need to work harder with what I’m struggling with right now. And I know exactly how to do it – but it is so difficult...

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I need to work harder at being still and knowing that God is in control. 

(Psalm 46:10)

I need to work harder at laying all of my troubles and burdens at the feet of the Prince of Peace.

I need to work harder at finding compassion instead of anger when those around me aren’t washing their hands or staying 6 feet back.

I need to work harder at remembering how very, very, very scared the older lady is, who yelled at the fire fighter at Costco for going in before her (which Costco had offered as a service to first responders). And I need to work harder appreciating all the first responders putting their lives and the lives of their families at stake for choosing a job in public service.

I need to work harder at remembering all the things that Jesus has walked with me through before this. I need to remember the way He got me through was different/better and to trust in His ways.

(Isaiah 55:8)

I need to work harder at remembering this is all temporary.

(Hebrews 13:14)

I need to work harder at remembering there are so many people out there suffering not only with this pandemic; but they are moving, looking for a job, trying to make ends meet, arresting someone with Covid 19, battling cancer, filing for divorce, burying a loved one to an empty church… 8(

 

I need to work harder at keeping my eyes fixed on the One who holds me in His hands and remember I can find shelter beneath His wings. (Psalm 91)

And I need to work harder at remembering I have a Counselor, a Helper, a Healer and a Savior who is never gonna leave me during this time.

(Joshua 1:9)

I also want to work harder on asking how people are doing through this.

So, please tell me-

How are you working harder during this time?

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Grace Period

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.”  (John 3:16 -Message Bible)

Wouldn’t it be great if things in the world were “right again?”

I’ve heard stories of atrocious behaviors in this crisis: hoarding toilet paper, hatred boiling over from one’s heart if someone sneezes, fighting over a clean grocery cart… 

However, in spite of the terrible ways we’ve been behaving, not just in our life times, but through ALL time, God’s GRACE has been there. Waiting for you. And out of His great mercy, we’ve been given a grace period.

When we come out of this COVID 19 crisis, and we will come out of it, things will never be the same. And some of that is good news – Never again underestimating the value of a hug, a gathering of people to dine, laugh and be together; Esteeming and caring for our elderly, looking out for neighbors, honoring store clerks, first responders, truck drivers, janitors; donating blood, staying home when you are sick, valuing having a job to go to, paying your debts, taking time to examine the condition of your heart, praying like your life depended on it… 

Right now, we’re in the in between. A moment in time when we should be taking stock of what’s really important. A grace period where we must choose what’s important. 

Do you accept the gift Jesus already pre-paid for you? A gift far exceeding any amount of Clorox wipes, respirators or doomsday preppers stash – A gift offered as payment of our ultimate debt and lasting beyond this crisis -lasting through eternity.

This current grace period is the time to choose. 

Choose to hear Him

Choose to accept Him

To believe

That’s Grace

PERIOD

 

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Romans 10:9-10 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”

Let’s Talk Numbers

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My husband, who is a math teacher, understands the power of numbers. 

I’ve heard him say, “Two out of every one (2/1) students have issues with fractions.” 8)

What’s the common denominator?

One

—

When I went to Southwest Airlines Flight Attendant training, I learned about the passenger count. 

Before every take off, the Captain asks, “How many souls on board?” 

They request a full count to include each of the flight attendants, lap children, people with comfort animals, Federal Air Marshals, unaccompanied minors, etc., every single soul on board. Why?

Because the Captain, this one person, holds the ultimate responsibility for the safety of each and every one of those souls as they hurl through the air at 30,000 fat going 575 miles per hour. Should anything go wrong under those circumstances: a flock of geese, a medical emergency, deadly turbulence, engine failure, fuselage destruction, a terror attack, etc. ANYTHING, they accept responsibility for the safety of every person on board.

The largest airplane is an Airbus 380 which has a capacity of 853 seats.

That number (plus crew) is what weighs on the shoulders of one Captain.

—

Every morning, I check the numbers regarding the COVID-19 pandemic.

AZDHS.gov

Tells us Maricopa County has 251 confirmed cases.

401 in Arizona

6 of those souls have perished

A news cast this yesterday tells us the latest numbers may now place the U.S. at the epicenter of the pandemic with current counts of cases numbering 42,164.

(471 souls perished)

Worldwide the number has reached 372,757 confirmed cases with 16,231 souls perished.

(Who.int for all the latest numbers and all updates on the pandemic.)

Now let’s put these numbers in perspective.

In 2020, the US population estimates 331,002,651 souls-That is a lot.

In 2020, the worldwide population estimates 8 BILLION souls (8,000,000,000)-WOW.

And then-

108.2 Billion is the number of homo sapiens/souls since the beginning of time-Thats huge. Yup, I said it.

HUGE

Can you imagine if you were the Captain of THAT airplane? The souls weighing on those shoulders.

And yet, there is One who bears the weight of every soul on His shoulders.

As Jesus died on the cross and announced “It is finished,” He purchased the  redemption for every single one of the souls that ever lived and ever will live. 

And when He rose from the grave, He conquered death so that each soul believing in His name would need not fear death any longer.

“One is the loneliest number”- Three Dog Night

Matthew 18:12 contains the parable of the lost sheep:

Jesus speaking-

…12What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? 13And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices more over that one sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. 14In the same way, your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.…

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This story always gets me. What Jesus accomplished on the cross— A gift of grace for more than 108.2 billion+  weighing on the shoulders of The One.

And then, His love, so beautifully demonstrated by telling us, telling me, how important it is for Him to recover those who are lost; those of us who tend to wander off.

He won’t leave any single one of His sheep behind.

It’s not just for me.

It’s for you. 

And for every single one the souls there ever was, or ever will be.

Hillsong United says it beautifully in the song “So will I (100 Billion)

“the One who never leaves the one behind”

Are you listening?

Battle Call

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Battle Call

“For our struggle is not against human opponents, but against rulers, authorities, cosmic powers in the darkness around us, and evil spiritual forces in the heavenly realm.” – Ephesians 6

Two days ago, we listened to the press conference from the COVID-19 task force leaders in America on whitehouse.gov

It was said that the threat we face is invisible. 

This virus is invisible, the spread is invisible, and I can think of a few other invisible things this pandemic is spreading.

I watched the hoarding unfold, the greed of many trying to use this for their own pocketbook, and witnessed the fear wrap its spindly fingers around many people hearts with each news cast…

Please know i am NOT writing this in judgement. 

Apparently, many of us are about one roll of toilet paper away from losing our common decency. 

However, I AM writing this because I know there is a better Way.

Proverbs 4: 23

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

The invisible enemy has indeed come to steal, kill and destroy. 

We’ve witnessed the havoc, chaos, depletion of decency. 

And yet, there is an invisible force  and a Way that has more power than the all the powers of darkness.

And it is very real.

Some people think that God is invisible.

Or they ask, “How do we know He’s here. Does he even care what’s going on?”

Answer: He cares more than you can even fathom.

The threats man has been facing since the beginning were invisible. 

And God knows us so well that He knew we’d need to see it to believe it.

So He sent us His Son.

The invisible made visible in Jesus Christ.

John 3:16

I read this story recently in Mark chapter 2 and feel it is so pertinent to right now. Jesus is having dinner with some tax collectors and “sinners” while the religious authorities are wondering why he’s doing this.—“When Jesus heard this, he told them, ‘Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.’”

Have you heard the call?

The following is summarized advice from the WHO (World Health Organization) Director General for individuals during this crisis—He emphasizes that keeping in good physical and mental health is needed to help fight against COVID-19 if you get it:

First: eat a healthy and nutritious diet

Second: limit alcohol and avoid sugary drinks

Third: Don’t smoke

Fourth: Exercise (keeping a safe distance from others)

Fifth: look after your mental health (reach out, check on neighbors, family, etc) – He stated, “Compassion is a medicine.” Get info from reliable sources

Work together as one humanity

Good advice. 

But shouldn’t we already be doing these things?

The difference, I suppose, is that people are finally, actually listening and obeying.

Our external health is important. 

But no amount of antimicrobial soap and hand sanitizer can cleanse the heart.

Jesus came to call the sick. He came to call those who knew their hearts needed cleansing. He came to tell and live out stories of kindness; to be an example of mercy, of forgiveness, and of how to live a life of love. 

Jesus, God made visible, real; and yet he forces no one to listen to his call. He offers it freely to ALL and allows us each the chance to respond. The opportunity to cleanse our hearts by accepting the redemptive grace of a God who will not rest until everyone has the chance to hear and the option to bow and to confess freely.

And that’s not all. When He ascended to heaven, he left us the gift of His Holy Spirit.  A Spirit that lives within those of us who choose to hear his call and accept His gift of grace. 

A Spirit that will light our way, counsel us, heal us, protect us, guide us. A Spirit that communicates on our behalf and will never leave us or forsake us.

An ever present Helper in times of trouble.

It is He who who cleanses us from the inside out. 

Psalm 51:7 (THE MESSAGE)

Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,

scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.

Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,

set these once-broken bones to dancing.

Don’t look too close for blemishes,

give me a clean bill of health.

God, make a fresh start in me,

shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.

Don’t throw me out with the trash,

or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,

put a fresh wind in my sails!

Doesn’t that sound like good news? 

I guess the questions is:

Are you listening?

R.O.Y. G. B. I. V.

ROYGBIV

October 1st in the desert. Those of us who live here know that the last few months have been brutally hot. This heat tends to send things hibernating and the weak of heart only come here to escape their own weather when things cool down.  There are those who say there is no beauty in the desert. They say you can count on the heat and only two colors—the brown of the hard packed earth (and smog) and blue of the sky that for months and months won’t witness a cloud or rain.

 A storm is coming.

They’re calling this one Rosa— I don’t know how they pick those names but I’m thanking Rosa this morning because she has brought clouds to the blue sky, rain to the brown and my ability to go out for a run today without fear of perishing from heat exhaustion. Temps have plummeted form 105 degrees to a mere 75 degrees today. It rained through the night and had stopped for now, but they’re predicting such tremendous precipitation that flooding is imminent for many communities. I’m not thinking 40 days or anything, but it sounds like it’ll last several days into this week.

Of course, before I could make it out the door, I had to rub the ointments on my foot for the pain, and I also had to don my prescription glasses in hopes of seeing where I’m going. (The desert in the summer AND this getting older thing isn’t for the weak of heart.)

Speaking of heart—You could say I’ve been struggling with joy in my heart these dog days of summer… As a Christian, we’re told (and I believe) that since we believe in Jesus Christ, we always have joy.  I carry that hope that I have eternity with Him to look forward to and it keeps me smiling and pushing on, but sometimes things of this world just get me down…It’s just not a “Joel Osteen”-kind of day today. And, with the way things looked last week in our nation, it’s not a “J.O.” kind of week.

I can point to a myriad of things getting me down besides how sad I am about how we treat each other:  the heat has been exhausting, that micro fracture in my foot that kept me from running for several weeks, the inability to see clearly without eyeglasses, the eye infection I am still struggling with caused by the devastating fires this summer, and all that training for a half-marathon that got cancelled because of the other hurricane (Florence.) And that storm also affected a friendship in my life — I don’t understand why, but it would seem that things beyond my control are pulling me down.

And my cat is sick. So, I turned to where I’ve found joy before; running and being outside in God’s earth.  I do believe He still speaks to and through His creation, so I went out for my run and was praying to God for a hopeful glimpse at some Joy….

About 2 miles in, the pain in my foot started to dissipate and I grew more aware of the things around me. I thought about the two colors of the desert—brown and the blue—But, as my focus shifted, the vision of the desert before me was alive with more colors than I could name! From Mr. Hensen’s Jr. high school science class, I remembered the acronym R.O.Y.G.B.I.V. The color spectrum with each letter representing a color that is illuminated in a rainbow.

“A rainbow is a meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection, refraction and dispersion of light in water droplets resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky. It takes the form of a multicoloured circular arc. Rainbows caused by sunlight always appear in the section of sky directly opposite the sun.” – Wikipedia

And also from Wikipedia—“The rainbow is an important symbol in the Bible, representing a promise of peace from God to Noah…”

Even though there wasn’t enough sunshine today to create a real rainbow, I thought I would look for the representation of that in the colors around me.

So I put it out there— “Okay God, it would plant some joy in my heart to see ALL the colors of the rainbow.” —And I began focusing on things around me (instead of my pain…)

First there was the Red Baja Fairy Duster— (I just love the names of the plants in this desert)— Then there was the vivid orange blooms of the Honeysuckle. I didn’t see the Y – yellow, so I moved on to the G in green—Well, that was everywhere! Supporting the blooms on the leaves of all these lovely shrubs and plants, but also unlimited shades of it on all the Saguaro, Agave and Prickly Pear Cacti. And still, I found no B – Blue. I quickly located the Indigo and the Violet attracting all the bees and hummingbirds on the numerous blooms covering the Arizona Sage bushes. So, it just got down to needing to see some yellow and some blue. With each step and each color I could check off in the rainbow, I felt a little more of my Joy returning. 

I decided to stop focusing on everything that was just on my side of the street, and as I looked to the other side, I found it!  A beautiful stucco home with yellow blooming Brittle Bush and Arizona Yellowbells punctuating it’s landscaping.  

“Wow Lord,” I thought, these colors are amazing, BUT I still hadn’t seen blue yet…

However, as I continued on, I was mesmerized by mom many more colors—the bright pinks and fuchsias of the Oleanders and Bouganvilia and adorable little white blooms of the Flattop Buckwheat. But I was still holding out for the blue. 

So disappointing. 

And then, no lie, a blue car drove by. I laughed — “Really, God?” Then I doubted. Was that really blue?—It was really more gray.  I’m not counting it. I continued on… But my throat was bubbly with the tinges of that laughter, my feet were lighter; I felt supported by everything around me. My vision of the world started to look brighter, even though the clouds of Rosa continue to build in the sky.

I was about 4 blocks away from my destination and a bright blue Nissan SUV pulled out into the road- traveling the same direction I was going. I had to laugh again. Okay that’s for sure blue. No mistaking that.  I even looked it up—Nissan calls that color-CASPIAN BLUE.

Then I thought, “Is this really God speaking to me through all these little things? Am I just looking for God to speak to me to lift me up??!” 

Earlier this week I saw this quote from Fred Rogers…

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

― Fred Rogers

I believe there are scary things in the news, but, like Mr. Rogers, I believe in looking for the helpers. I believe what I believe. The more I thought about my search for ROY G BIV to provide me with hope, the more I realized what I was missing. 

The Blue. It’s always been there—One of the two colors we’re most known for here in the desert southwest-that brown and blue. The sky, now temporarily masked in white and grey clouds bringing the impending storm, yet most always can be counted on to reflect it’s blue in Arizona.  

Sometimes the storms of life and the pain in our lives changes our focus from what is always available -The Blue Sky of Joy we always have available to us. By Faith, I know I always have that joy and today God made it feel so real, so alive, so all encompassing, personal, and so vibrant. And I thank Him for that. I know, and I know, and I know, and my joy is returning.

I guess the question is, “What do you look for?”

To the Moon and Back?

Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands”

“Love you to the moon and back”—I’ve wondered about this phrase; seen it on necklaces; spoken to children from their parents; pretty sure there’s a book about it somewhere.
The moon. It is beautiful. We gaze upon it’s stunning light when it’s full; we marvel at it as our earth sometimes eclipses it—It revolves around us—we REALLY love the moon. And since we have landed on it, it is discoverable. It is 238,855 miles from the earth and back.

That’s pretty far. But then I reflect on the sun—

I just returned from a run in the desert of Arizona. In April. I underestimated the power of the SUN. There’s talk that this week we might hit our first 100 degree day.
93 million miles away from the earth and still that sun is something to reckon with.

Mercifully, it’s April 9th. I have time to prepare for the scorching days to come. But I had forgotten: forgot to take enough water, forgot to wear sunscreen, forgot about those extra “pizza-pounds” I am carrying along for the ride. I forgot how awful it feels to be THIRSTY…The cotton that fills your mouth, the salty sweat dripping into your eyes and mouth, making the journey even just a little more challenging. The whole time I kept reminding myself bout the gloriously tall glass of ice water awaiting my return.
Just gotta make it home…

Obviously, I didn’t perish. (I am writing this 😉
But-
“Summer is coming”
And it’s going to be BRUTAL.

Why don’t we say, “Love you to the Sun and back?”
At those roughly 93,000,000 miles away, it is 400 times farther away than the moon.
One way.
The suns’s diameter is 400 times greater than the moon’s.
This majestic sun is the source of the light that reflects off the moon that we love to gaze upon. It is so darn formidable, that we cannot even gaze upon it without damaging our eyes.
When it gets eclipsed, it’s a national phenomenon. And we revolve around it.

—-
I like routine. I am comforted by things that repeat—things I can count on; even if the things are tedious; like getting up every morning at 5:30 am to go to work, flossing, church on Sundays.

There are also my favorite repeating things—things that bring intense joy; like dining on three meals a day (sometimes all pizza!), kissing my husband every time we say “cheers,” and church on Sundays. ;0

I have this friend who will point out things in nature that blow your mind. Things like seasons telling of the cycles of life, sunsets creating colors that no Costco size of crayons could ever capture and even the intricacies of the human eyes displaying the grandeur of His attention to detail. Things that she believes reflect a God who is so creative!

“And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapor of Your breath the planets form
…
And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky
A canvas of Your grace”—HillSong United

If it’s true, that all things in nature are a whisper of who God is; then …

The sun is ALL MIGHTY-The source of our light: intense, powerful, all-consuming, and lighting us through our days—all across the earth and beyond into the universe. God placed the earth at the exact distance from the sun so that it would heat to just the right temperatures for human life and animal life to be sustained and multiplied (except for the summer in Arizona when we must hibernate;) On earth, the sun brings plants its source and ability to create food… After a chilly night, the sun greets us in it’s magnificence, warms us throughout the day and even as it sets, like my friend points out, it reminds us of His marvelous and colorful creativity!

And when the dark of night comes, we are reminded that the sun has not really left us. The moon, who’s light comes from the sun, becomes our guide in the darkness. It can illuminate the areas where our enemies can snare us. And it’s not a wimpy moon. This mere reflection along with the help of the sun has the power to move the masses of oceans and seas, and creates the tides that, as they ebb and flow, also remind us of His provision.

And the moon, on its waxing and waning journey can be hidden from the shadows cast by our world, but as it continues on faithfully, cycle after cycle, the light returns. Repetitious: sliver by sliver, it is born again, full and new.

There have been many a time when I felt that God was more than a universe away from me. Times when I felt darkness pressing against my soul—divorce, death of a loved one, watching a friend suffer…

Yet, in His constant faithfulness during those chaotic times, I would be reminded of His nearness. When my dad died in the spring of 2008, A peach tree in his backyard that had not produced a single piece of fruit, overflowed with peaches the very summer after his passing. This spoke to me of a God who not only takes away but also One who GIVES. It was enough.

Maybe the Sun is telling us about God, our Source and Creator, and the Moon, as a Reflector of His light is a representation of Jesus, who’s light illuminated the earth.
And it was on the earth, that Jesus’s light was blotted out by those who did not understand this light; just to be reborn to shine again brightly.
Faithful and constant, through the cycles of our lives, as the tides ebb and flow away the days, we can get lost in the tedium. Yet, Jesus continues to make us His focus; still caring about every hair on our head. The moon and the sun, daily serve as reminders reflecting His constant presence— that He will never leave us, He will never give up on us. He is always there to shine into the deepest parts of our hearts, to bring nourishment to the seeds of faith planted in the human heart from the beginning of time and to sustain us as we walk through the days and nights, together with Him.

“If the stars were made to worship so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I”
Hillsong United

And as I return HOME from my journey with the scorching reminder of the formidable sun, and I take a long drink out of the tall, ice-cold water cup, I am reminded that I have available to me the living water that will allow me to never thirst again. I’m reminded of the One who has been chasing me on my journey, One that will leave the 99. And I’m reminded of the All Powerful One who is the source of it all, continually awing me with beauty and power reflected in a nature that is beyond my understanding. A love that blows my mind …a hundred billion times

“God of salvation
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die” —Hillsong United

And, God who created all this and every one of us; who, through His Son, Jesus, and His sacrifice for us, testifies to all the earth that His light can never be extinguished. And this All Powerful, mighty Creator— He loves us to the SON and back.

Are you ready?

 

Here we are: December 16th. Nine days away from Christmas!

“Are you ready?”

I’ve been hearing this question asked at the bank, at my work potluck, in line at the stores…It CRACKS me up!

Christmas comes the same time and date each year. Not like Easter, that one can mess you up. Christmas has been December 25th for about 2000 years. So, it’s not like we weren’t told about it in advance. How come people aren’t ready?

ANTICIPATION

One of the most tantalizing feelings this time of year is the anticipation leading up to this special day. I remember it well as a child.–The inability to get to sleep on December 24th. My heart beating so rapidly as the agonizing wait for 6 am (this was the absolute earliest my parents would allow for us to awake them!) and we had to bring them with us when we went downstairs to find out if all that “being good” in the weeks prior had put us on Santa’s NICE list —

SURPRISE-What did Santa bring you?

Unfortunately, one of the biggest surprises this time of year is the VOID.

Some face the VOID of celebrating their first (or second, or third…) Christmas without their loved one.

For others there’s the VOID felt in the bank account, leaving nothing for gifts.

Amidst all the beautiful lights, wreath adorned doors, the hustle and bustle and gatherings, there are those for whom this is NOT the most wonderful time of the year. 

I’ll never forget the surprise of my very first out of state Christmas working at Phoenix Police Department. I swallowed the lump in my throat after wishing “Merry Christmas” to family and friends far away as I clocked in for my overnight shift working the holiday. I fully expected the night to be filled with bookings from partying: DUI’s and noise violations from all the celebrating…

Surprise!

The most common arrests I saw that night were the domestic violence and family assaults.

Not everyone has a family they enjoy celebrating the holiday with. That Christmas felt like a “Reverse Grinch” moment happened to me as my heart cinched up and threatened to break.

My heart has these moments when I hear a parent threaten their overly rambunctious child, “Christmas is canceled this year!”

My heart breaks every Black Friday when I watch humanity crawl and punch their way to the front line for the door-busting deals.

My heart breaks when I see the VOID left in this world.

The only cure for this heart break and void is the VERY reason why I love this season and this time of the year.

No matter how dysfunctional your family may be, no matter how misbehaved your children are, no matter how empty your bank account is, you have available a reason to celebrate–the same reason the shepherds, three wise men and a young couple with nothing celebrated in a manger  2000 years ago.

Every year, I picture Linus in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special telling Charlie the TRUE meaning of Christmas:

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, “Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”
Luke 2:8-14 (KJV)

He came to heal the brokenhearted.  He fills the void. He is the very reason for the season. So, the real question is:

Are you ready for Him?

 

 

I GIVE UP!

 

I GIVE UP

(Lead Me Part 3)

“And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us…” (Hebrews 12:1)

from http://www.theimperfectprincess.com

 

What do you do when things go wrong?

Not just the—“I slept through the alarm, spilled coffee on my white shirt, heading out the door to the car with a dead battery”— kind of day. But more like the—“You stayed too late at work for a boss who is mad at you for taking too much bereavement time, so you and didn’t get home in time to change the diaper on your parent who barely knows who you are anymore, and you missed the call from your own doctors who need to see you in their office; they have the results of your biopsy”–kind of day??

When it rains, it pours. And this type of day/life happens to even the best of us. What do you do with these kinds of days?

I find comfort in the realness of the journeys of the followers of God in the Bible. Job is widely turned to as the book in the bible that demonstrates enduring faith through the very toughest these kinds of days.

As I re-read his story, I am reminded that people back then believed that when bad stuff happened, they must’ve done something wrong and God was punishing them for it. Yet, Job had done nothing wrong! His whole life, his prosperity, his family, his reputation, his health was all snatched from him and he was INNOCENT.  (Sound familiar?) Then his friends, day after day, rubbed salt in his wounds with accusations and empty words.

Job was having one of those kinds of days. And, let’s face it—we all will be faced with days like these sooner or later. And, when my day comes, I would like to think that I would have the endurance, patience and faithfulness of Job.

But I know myself better than that.

And, if you know me at all, you know that I love finding parallels of our ordinary days and relating them to our journey on this lovely planet that is our temporary home.

—

I was training for my first marathon; an endurance run of 26.2 miles.

At the same time, my father was battling metastatic malignant melanoma level 5; an endurance run for his very life.

The doctors told him it was untreatable, but he wasn’t willing to accept that. Experimental treatments gave him the hope and ultimately more time in the race.

Marathon training gave me hours upon hours by myself to pray, cry, feel the pain, rage against the pavement, to be numb, to pray more and to increase my endurance. Mile by mile, just moving forward was my therapy.

At times, my own thoughts and questions would drive me to the brink of giving up. So, I tried using headphones and music on runs longer than two hours. It was on a desolate, long, hot run out on the nearly deserted Salt River Indian reservation, miles from home that I was smacked in the face with the reality of hopelessness of my father’s diagnosis.

The questions were relentless–How was he handling this? He puts on a brave face and still maintains his sense of humor, but what happens in the dark of the long night? Would we ever get a father/daughter dance at my wedding? Would he make it to see my marathon? Would he survive this next treatment? What if he gives up? Why does cancer even exist?!?

As my feet traveled along the winding canal, the gravel shifted under me like quicksand, the tears began choking my breath. I doubled over as the side-stitch from lack of oxygen pricked at my side. I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t go on.

I didn’t have the endurance like Job. I gave up.

I sucked in deep breaths trying to regain my composure. I bent over. How could I give up? How could I give up when my dad is fighting for his life?

And then coincidence/grace stepped in. The song that began playing was by Mercy Me. As their words traveled through the ear-buds right into the depths of my struggle, a drop of hope quenched my spirit. I stood and slowly began walking, one foot in front of the other. Before long, I had regained my stride and was running. As I pressed on my journey, these words of hope reverberated with my soul:

“Hold fast

Help is on the way

Hold fast

He’s come to save the day

And what I’ve learned in my life,

The One thing greater than my stride is Your grasp

So hold fast”

—Mercy Me “Hold Fast”

 

“It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

When I’m having one of those days, I remember Who travels with me. He never lets me out of His grasp.

It’s been the darkest nights and toughest stuff on this life’s path that I’ve felt my relationship with God so intimately.

 

I look back on the faithful answers God delivered throughout. I remember how He answered so many prayers. How, although my father lost the battle for his life, we did get that “father-daughter dance;” we had more time together; and he not only bought me this from my first marathon:

 

 

 

 

But my father was there, cheering me on as I crossed the finish line.

 

—

I’ve said it before—I am not a leader.

I’m a follower.

My friend, “quotable Kelly” is a leader. She effortlessly has led a group of women (including me) these last eight years.

She’s led us not only through an increasing knowledge of what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ, but has also traveled with us through the peaks and valleys of life. She shared her wisdom, experience, understanding and heart with us. Yet, her life takes her away from our group. Leaving a void in the leadership for our group and, leaving a void in our hearts for her presence and wisdom.

I’ve been asked to step up as leader. I, in no way, feel worthy or up to it—I’ve enjoyed being in the follower role.

Yet, in life, sometimes we’re asked to do things we don’t feel equipped to handle.

And then the questioning begins.

The human heart was made to love, but is it equipped to withstand the loss of loved ones?

The human brain is so imaginative and creative, but how do we comprehend cancer? Alzheimer’s? Children who go hungry? Divorce?

How do we lead in this messy life, when we are a follower?

How do we hold fast, when we don’t feel equipped?

I am a runner. I believe I’m equipped to run because I’m not coordinated enough to do anything else! (See the post on ZUMBA!) 😉

And in life and in running, you just have to put one foot in front of the other. Keep going. And I KNOW it isn’t easy.

But when it comes to “events” that can be planned for, I am overly equipped to handle this! When I can see an upcoming race on the calendar, in my self-sufficiency, I will do everything in my power to be ready and equipped!

And I tend to be an “over-trainer.”

My husband and I are full swing into our triathlon training and our event is this weekend.

Have we done enough? Have we gone far enough? Have we done the work and put in the miles?

And since I’ve been in charge of our training, the answer is: “Of course we have!”

But it didn’t come easy and it doesn’t mean that stuff won’t go wrong along the way–

“Honey, if we are going to get this run in, we need to go now!” I urged on my new husband before the Arizona heat got unbearable.

I’m not sure why I do this, however; because he hardly ever runs WITH me…

Usually, I love to run. It’s routinely become my prayer time, my return to sanity, my time to rage against the pavement when I’m having one of those days, and it’s my time to commune with God. It’s where I leave all my questions.

I believe it’s saved my spirit more than once.

But when my new husband and I “run together,” it drives me NUTTY because he runs about 15 feet in front of me. And we never use headphones when we run “together,” so no luck on finding some encouragement or distraction there!

It completely deflates my spirit as I huff and puff, trying to reach the unreachable carrot that is my new husband gliding along the pavement in front of me.

But today, on this run that we should’ve started an hour earlier, I didn’t want to fall behind. The quicker we went, the sooner we’d be done and out of the heat. Right?! Yet, today I simply cannot keep pace with him. After getting frustrated and slightly overheated, everything about holding fast, pressing on and “just doing it” falls away…

The noise inside my head is rambling on about how we should’ve gone earlier. I should’ve gone without him. I should’ve…should’ve…should’ve…I **BONK**

I give up.

I wave him on telling him to go on without me.

I let out an exhausted breath and bend down (pretending to stretch.)

While I’m down, I look back at the upside down road I have just traveled. And in this moment, it happens to me.

At the end of my own limits, my own capabilities, my endurance and sufficiency, a new strength is found—It is here, as I give up on my own strength, that the Unseen moves in.

“My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness.”—2 Corinthians 12:9

I remember back on the other roads where I was to the breaking point.

And I remember the enduring faith of Job.

–“The account of Job’s life isn’t in the Bible so we can compare experiences; it’s there so we can rest in the knowledge that God is in control in every circumstance of our lives and that He is full of wisdom and grace…It is our journey with the Lord that is precious to us because we realize how close God is as He walks with us every step of the hard way.”-Joel Osteen THE HOPE BIBLE

Job knew who he followed and who was with him at every step. He also knew God was the prize at the end of the road he was enduring.

“And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us…” (Hebrews 12:1)

“…We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfect our faith.” (Hebrews 12:2)

I stand up and re-affix my eyes.

I run. And during this specific run, I remind myself that we all have our own race to run. By trying to do this at another’s pace, the joy was sucked out of my own journey. By accepting my capabilities and my weaknesses, I fall into my own cadence and I focus on running my own race.

I am struck by the parallel truth that each of us must be responsible for our own journey. Not anyone else’s, just our own. As the miles pass beneath my feet, my joy for this run returns. Up ahead, I see my new husband waits for me at the corner.

He needed a sip of the water (I always carry.) He drinks.

I nod at him, “Go on ahead,” I say with a genuine smile.

He takes off again.

I sigh, watch him go, and I continue at my own pace. A teensy bit of heat exhaustion creeps in and I imagine that the saguaros are a message from God-with their arms raised in encouragement, they are cheering me on!

 

 

I remind myself that this pain and these miles prepare me for something greater down the road. I HOLD FAST in knowing this race of life requires endurance.

I press on.

About a mile later, I catch up to my overheated hubby—he is walking.

“It’s too hot,” he says. “You go on ahead.” He smiles at me.

He has **BONKED**

I give him more of the water and know that those same saguaros will cheer him on.

But he has given up on this run.

I run on.

I reach our destination before he does.

I prepare two tall, ice-cold glasses of fresh filtered water and go back out to cheer on my husband.

—

 

Whether you are facing something that you don’t feel adequately prepared for; running a race that you’ve done everything in your power to endure; stumbling through one of those days where your spirit is tested; or when you are entrenched in the toughest stuff of life and just want to give up, –there is still One who leads the way for us.

“So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?”

—Sanctus Real’s “Lead Me”

 

He will equip us when we are at the end of our abilities.

He is with us for every step and cheering us on.

And I can only imagine what it will be like to see Him face to face as we cross that finish line!