Running IS a Team Sport

And pain is temporary, but regret can last a lifetime.

Coach Simmons taught me these things

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Giving “your all” individually is important, but Coach Simmons was all about the team. 

He was all about encouraging one another.

“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

I was “knee deep” into my run today and, nearly every time I run, I think about the words of the coaches I’ve had along the way.

I could’ve used a teammate’s motivation on my run today.

My apologies, Coach Simmons. Today I gave it up only 2 1/2 miles into my solo run. “But I got a late start and it’s already almost 100° in Arizona, AND it’s a bad air day due to all the fires.” I know, excuses excuses-He wouldn’t listen to excuses. Plan better. I should’ve hydrated better yesterday – my responsibility, not the failure of a teammate. 

Again, my apologies to Coach Simmons. 

Coach Simmons wouldn’t have wanted me to stop. 

A few brief words about Coach Simmons first. 

He was worn thin to say the least.

Not only was he our head high school track coach, he was also A-West’s football coach. He was also my typing teacher and, in addition, he taught the electives of law and society. Pretty sure he had a few more classes, I just didn’t know him that well. In retrospect, I have no idea how he did all this. Because he also was the father to two of my classmates. His daughter was on the cheerleading squad and his son was on the football team. Both were on the honor roll. (Wonder where they got their drive from?)

With all this on his plate, Coach Simmons was one of the most mild mannered, kind, encouraging coaches I’ve ever had. I never once heard him raise his voice. Now some might say this type of coaching won’t get you high performing athletes. Yet, this coach’s manner still sticks with me today. Coach Simmons taught us to encourage each other, especially when we want to stop or give up.

He would tell us, “If you see one of your teammates stopping or giving up, use every bit of your breath to encourage them and pull them along with you.”

You see, Coach Simmons believed that it wasn’t about having the highest performing athlete; it was about building a team. He instilled in us healthy competition; but not at the expense of your teammates, your humanity, or your common sense when achieving these goals. He wanted athletes who gave it all, but also pulled each other along. Compete without regrets. 

And I was witness to the fact that this strategy worked. 

There were times when I was having a great day, and as I rounded that last corner of the quarter mile, when typically your legs feel like two by fours and your lungs are about to burst, I felt like I could fly; and I was able encourage a struggling teammate to “dig deep” that last 50 yards. Afterwards, they would tell me how that was the only thing that kept them going. 

More often times, I was that person needing the encouragement.

Is it laws of physics? Is it like “drafting?” Is it something deep in our cells’ structure or a brain synapse that is ignited with the right amount of positivity to push beyond the other voices in your head telling you that you can’t make it?

I can’t explain it, but I’m pretty sure Coach Simmons studied about it. 

Because it worked.

He built several relay teams that made it all the way to state. The Wildcat football team was always one of the top in the state, and often referred to as “the team to beat.” More importantly, Coach Simmons poured into the lives of so many athletes and his words and lessons live on, more than 30 years later.

Sitting in the cool of my house with a tall glass of ice water, I regret stopping. I could’ve finished. Next time…

Coach Simmons, you were right.

Another deep regret:  in my senior year after the track banquet, the team got together and TP’d (toilet papered) his house.

Wow—who knew we’d totally live to regret that??!! 

Again, Coach Simmons, my deepest apologies. 

But more importantly Coach Simmons, my extreme gratitude for being who you are and building our team. A team that looked out for those struggling. Individuals who used what they had left in their tank to build up one another. 

“He comforts me in all my trouble, so that I can comfort people who are in any trouble with the comfort with which I myself am comforted by God.”

2 Corinthians 1:4

To all the coaches, teachers, parents and individuals who take the extra time to speak into the lives of our youth; to those who are living examples of humility and kindness; to the ones who speak truth in love; to those who live the example without raising your voice or often, without using words—THANK YOU.

We’re all on the same team.

Pig Latin, Yoda and Jesus

 

I am out of breath and dripping with sweat as I write this. 

I just wanted to get home.

I was out running. Summer in AZ, even at 7 am-burning up.

I had to get home to write.

Writer I am…

I was at the farthest point from home when He spoke to me.

That’s just how it goes.

When we are farthest away from Him, He reminds us—we’re really not.

Wondering what I heard?  “Yoda, Pig Latin and Jesus.”

I will admit, this pandemic has not brought out the very best in me. My prayer life has been spotty. My time spent with Him, not-so-much. My delight in earthly pleasures-right on track—Eating, drinking and watching movies as the days turn to weeks. 

“It’s easy to get lost when you’ve found freedom.”—Johnny Rzeznik

Things that are backwards, start to make sense.

Pig latin. 

A code way of speaking; another language, if you will.  Created by taking the first letter or consonants of a word, moving it to the back, and adding an -“ay”

So the words:

Writer = Iter-wray.

Sound = Ound-say

Pig Latin = Ig-pay  atin-lay

You get it.

Yoda also spoke in what seemed to be another language.

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

“The greatest teacher, failure is.” 

“Named must be your fear before banish it you can.” -Yoda

Listen intently, and sense can be made of it all.

A King, becoming Servant. 

The first, shall be last.

Retuning love, when someone insults you.

Offering a thief your watch, when they’ve just stolen your wallet.

Dying for a sinful and unrepentant soul.

An Innocent, being punished by death.

Jesus’ love for us.

You’ve got it.

He loves you, even if you don’t love Him back. He offers the Gift of forever with Him, even if you refuse it.

The more you hear Him, the more you study His word, the more you focus on Him, the more it makes sense.

Here am I.

A once lost soul who He ran after. 

Jesus loves you. He will be there for you, even when it seems you’re the farthest away from Him. He will help make sense of a backwards life. He will never stop pursuing you.

 

“For if you want to save your own life, you will lose it; but if you lose your life for my sake, you will find it.”

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He wants you to make it home.

Dreams and Nightmares

I have this recurring nightmare. If you know me—I am a runner and I am a planner. I’ve loved running my entire life. I was in track and cross country throughout my school years. To this day, I continue to run and do races. I plan. I train. I want to be prepared and I love it.

Back to the nightmare. I arrive at the track for my quarter mile race, just one fast loop around the track. But as I set my feet, I realize I have on really really tight jeans. They are constricting. I can hardly move. And then, instead of my ground gripping spikes on my feet, I have on high heels. Then, as I am realizing I am not prepared for this run, I also realize, I have not trained for this race. I try to think of the runs, the repeats, anything I have been doing to help me through this event. Although it can be done in less than a minute, I realize this race is going to hurt like hell. And I have this nightmare frequently. Sometimes I am wearing the right gear, racing spikes on my feet and my breathable running attire; but in THAT nightmare, I am smoking cigarettes right before the starting gun goes off. Then, as I run, my heart feels constricted, like it will burst, and my lungs feel like thorns are being sucked into them, and they’re heavy like a boulder is crushing my chest. And I have had this nightmare over and over and over again. It’s awful.

I recently have had a different dream. I show up at the state cross country meet and I have been training for this race all season. I feel great, I am dressed appropriately and as my feet travel by muscle memory across the terrain, the time flies by. In some of my best days/races, I can do this 3.1 miles in about 22 minutes; a much longer time than the quarter mile sprint nightmare, but this race flies by. My feet are quick like a deer, I am light as a feather, my breathing is rhythmic and my heart is strong. I love this dream. It is utter JOY. 

I am wishing for more of this dream, but I know that the nightmare will come.

My husband and I are training for the Bolder Boulder, a 10 K race that happens over Memorial Day weekend in Colorado.

So, even though I didn’t want to go today, I laced up my shoes, donned my breathable running attire and set out on my run. As I was huffing and puffing up the one hill on my route, I got to thinking about the nightmares and dreams we have. I wondered what my subconscious was trying to tell me…

You can prepare for something—plan, train, put in the miles and it goes smoothly—effortlessly. But also there are things in life, that you love, you show up for, you think you’re prepared for, but in reality, when it comes down to it, right before that starting gun goes off, you’re NOT prepared for the pain that awaits you.

As I went out for my run today, I felt like a boulder was on my chest. 

February 14th, 22 years ago, someone found four pounds of white fur left behind in a field and took the tiny creature to the shelter. This is where little Dempsey found her way into my heart. I went there looking for a dog to run with me, and came home with this tiny creature that has covered me in her fur  and has covered me with comfort in life. She has been with me through a marriage, a divorce, countless moves, ups and downs and all the in betweens. She would  sleep draped across my head when it was cold or curled up on my belly. She loved rice krispies, edamame and bacon. She even licked away my tears and would put her paw on my arm when I was sick. She greeted me at the door every day when I arrived home for 22+ years. And Friday, we said good-bye to Dempsey. I had 22 years to love this little creature, so you’d think I was prepared. But the sadness constricts my throat and feels like I am breathing in thorns, and the emptiness of where her little white fur body was, feels like a gaping black hole.

Maybe the nightmare, my subconscious, was trying to prepare me for the pain of this life event.

But, Is there really anything that can help prepare you for the emptiness felt when something you love deeply is gone?

 

Dempsey would “help” me every time I was on the computer. She “helped” me make the bed by trying to sneak in under the sheets. She let me know how much she loved whatever I bought and had delivered by hanging out in the boxes left behind. She was a gift. Twenty-two years flew by and there was so much joy.

But Friday… and the tiny amount of time it took to say goodbye; it sears like a hot iron on my skin and is a boulder weighing on my chest. 

And I know it will be recurring. There will be more times of saying good-bye to something that, even if it seems like it’s planned for, will be painful. Good-byes to parents, friends, jobs, health, beautiful things. 

Almost to the point of not wanting to say hello to those things, just to spare the pain of the good-bye. 

Almost.

I read that deep grief is evidence of great love. I guess that’s why it hurts so much now. 

I’ve also read that life is more of an endurance race than a sprint.

It’s almost been a week. And it hasn’t been that much easier. However, even with the physical pain of missing, remembering and wanting one more day, I wouldn’t trade all those years of love, comfort and “help” with her just to escape this heartache. I’m going to pray and wish for more of those endurance dreams—the joy, the stuff that keeps a heart strong—I believe its these events that count the most; the memories, the effortless, joyful, daily beautiful things in life that give us the endurance to withstand the pain of saying the next good-bye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RIP Dempsey 2/14/1998- 4/19/19

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”  Hebrews 12:1

To the Moon and Back?

Psalm 19:1 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands”

“Love you to the moon and back”—I’ve wondered about this phrase; seen it on necklaces; spoken to children from their parents; pretty sure there’s a book about it somewhere.
The moon. It is beautiful. We gaze upon it’s stunning light when it’s full; we marvel at it as our earth sometimes eclipses it—It revolves around us—we REALLY love the moon. And since we have landed on it, it is discoverable. It is 238,855 miles from the earth and back.

That’s pretty far. But then I reflect on the sun—

I just returned from a run in the desert of Arizona. In April. I underestimated the power of the SUN. There’s talk that this week we might hit our first 100 degree day.
93 million miles away from the earth and still that sun is something to reckon with.

Mercifully, it’s April 9th. I have time to prepare for the scorching days to come. But I had forgotten: forgot to take enough water, forgot to wear sunscreen, forgot about those extra “pizza-pounds” I am carrying along for the ride. I forgot how awful it feels to be THIRSTY…The cotton that fills your mouth, the salty sweat dripping into your eyes and mouth, making the journey even just a little more challenging. The whole time I kept reminding myself bout the gloriously tall glass of ice water awaiting my return.
Just gotta make it home…

Obviously, I didn’t perish. (I am writing this 😉
But-
“Summer is coming”
And it’s going to be BRUTAL.

Why don’t we say, “Love you to the Sun and back?”
At those roughly 93,000,000 miles away, it is 400 times farther away than the moon.
One way.
The suns’s diameter is 400 times greater than the moon’s.
This majestic sun is the source of the light that reflects off the moon that we love to gaze upon. It is so darn formidable, that we cannot even gaze upon it without damaging our eyes.
When it gets eclipsed, it’s a national phenomenon. And we revolve around it.

—-
I like routine. I am comforted by things that repeat—things I can count on; even if the things are tedious; like getting up every morning at 5:30 am to go to work, flossing, church on Sundays.

There are also my favorite repeating things—things that bring intense joy; like dining on three meals a day (sometimes all pizza!), kissing my husband every time we say “cheers,” and church on Sundays. ;0

I have this friend who will point out things in nature that blow your mind. Things like seasons telling of the cycles of life, sunsets creating colors that no Costco size of crayons could ever capture and even the intricacies of the human eyes displaying the grandeur of His attention to detail. Things that she believes reflect a God who is so creative!

“And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapor of Your breath the planets form
…
And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky
A canvas of Your grace”—HillSong United

If it’s true, that all things in nature are a whisper of who God is; then …

The sun is ALL MIGHTY-The source of our light: intense, powerful, all-consuming, and lighting us through our days—all across the earth and beyond into the universe. God placed the earth at the exact distance from the sun so that it would heat to just the right temperatures for human life and animal life to be sustained and multiplied (except for the summer in Arizona when we must hibernate;) On earth, the sun brings plants its source and ability to create food… After a chilly night, the sun greets us in it’s magnificence, warms us throughout the day and even as it sets, like my friend points out, it reminds us of His marvelous and colorful creativity!

And when the dark of night comes, we are reminded that the sun has not really left us. The moon, who’s light comes from the sun, becomes our guide in the darkness. It can illuminate the areas where our enemies can snare us. And it’s not a wimpy moon. This mere reflection along with the help of the sun has the power to move the masses of oceans and seas, and creates the tides that, as they ebb and flow, also remind us of His provision.

And the moon, on its waxing and waning journey can be hidden from the shadows cast by our world, but as it continues on faithfully, cycle after cycle, the light returns. Repetitious: sliver by sliver, it is born again, full and new.

There have been many a time when I felt that God was more than a universe away from me. Times when I felt darkness pressing against my soul—divorce, death of a loved one, watching a friend suffer…

Yet, in His constant faithfulness during those chaotic times, I would be reminded of His nearness. When my dad died in the spring of 2008, A peach tree in his backyard that had not produced a single piece of fruit, overflowed with peaches the very summer after his passing. This spoke to me of a God who not only takes away but also One who GIVES. It was enough.

Maybe the Sun is telling us about God, our Source and Creator, and the Moon, as a Reflector of His light is a representation of Jesus, who’s light illuminated the earth.
And it was on the earth, that Jesus’s light was blotted out by those who did not understand this light; just to be reborn to shine again brightly.
Faithful and constant, through the cycles of our lives, as the tides ebb and flow away the days, we can get lost in the tedium. Yet, Jesus continues to make us His focus; still caring about every hair on our head. The moon and the sun, daily serve as reminders reflecting His constant presence— that He will never leave us, He will never give up on us. He is always there to shine into the deepest parts of our hearts, to bring nourishment to the seeds of faith planted in the human heart from the beginning of time and to sustain us as we walk through the days and nights, together with Him.

“If the stars were made to worship so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I”
Hillsong United

And as I return HOME from my journey with the scorching reminder of the formidable sun, and I take a long drink out of the tall, ice-cold water cup, I am reminded that I have available to me the living water that will allow me to never thirst again. I’m reminded of the One who has been chasing me on my journey, One that will leave the 99. And I’m reminded of the All Powerful One who is the source of it all, continually awing me with beauty and power reflected in a nature that is beyond my understanding. A love that blows my mind …a hundred billion times

“God of salvation
You chased down my heart
Through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world
Abandoned in darkness to die” —Hillsong United

And, God who created all this and every one of us; who, through His Son, Jesus, and His sacrifice for us, testifies to all the earth that His light can never be extinguished. And this All Powerful, mighty Creator— He loves us to the SON and back.

LEARNING TO SPELL

Learning to Spell

She’s only thirteen and still innocent. Her eyebrows arch in question as she toils over her homework at the kitchen table. She bats her long lashes covering her blue eyes and looks up at her mother by the kitchen sink. “Mom?”
Her mom, a school teacher, stoops over the dinner dishes in the condo the two of them live in. “Yes, honey?”
“How do you spell – salvation?” Her eyes are hopeful.
Her mom purses her lips and then smiles, “Honey, I’ve told you before how to spell it:
D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y.”
“Aaaarrrgh!” She throws her pencil down. She goes to the shelves to find the red book with “WEBSTER’s” across the top.

–Now that we have spell check, we don’t have this argument anymore, but this actually happened to my friend all the time.
Spell check doesn’t solve all the mistakes.

Her mother wanted her to find the answers herself.

—
I witnessed an argument between my two friends who are married. I was in the back seat of the Honda CR-V as the two of them argued over the homemade pasta they two of them made several months earlier. We were heading to the store to get the ingredients for them to make it again. Since I am in no way a gourmet cook (and this was before everyone had internet on their phones), I couldn’t help them. I watched.
“There are eggs in pasta.” I see him smile in the rearview mirror. He never raises his voice. He knows he’s right.
“No, we didn’t use them last time. Your mom’s recipe didn’t have them in it.” She is a little red in the face. She’s certain she’s right.
“Yes. Her recipe. We did. We used eggs.” He is steady.
“No. We didn’t.” She is firm.
“Yes, we did.”
“No, we didn’t.”
“You will soon find out.” The smile again.
“I already know.” The heat rising in her cheeks.
It went on for the rest of the trip to the store. She never gave in. He bought the eggs anyway.
She still didn’t believe him. When we got to their house, she checked three recipe books and scoured the internet. She couldn’t believe there were eggs in pasta. She called his mother. She’s had her back before in disagreements; it must’ve been a special recipe?!
Guess what?
There are eggs in pasta.

Sometimes we just don’t believe it; even when we find the answer.
—
I am a Taurus (the bull.)
I once dated an Aries (the ram.)
Once.
We disagreed on many things. One time, we spent an entire Diamondbacks baseball game arguing over marathon runners. I was considering doing my first marathon. He swore I couldn’t because all marathon runners are thinly built and I didn’t have that build. I am a runner—I have seen many fit people in all sizes and shapes finish marathons. He could argue a point into the ground. He was relentless and I often gave up because it was too exhausting. (But I still ran the marathon!)
I searched for a different way to end our arguments. I discovered betting. I have always been pretty lucky.
So, we had just seen the movie, “Meet the Parents.” We were disagreeing about the scene where the ex-boyfriend (Owen Wilson) reveals his wedding present to Gaylord (Ben Stiller) and his fiancée (Teri Polo). In the movie, Owen’s character carved an archway for Teri’s character out of one piece of wood in just 70 hours.
My boyfriend couldn’t believe this could happen. He knew it would take longer—being an amateur wood-worker himself. He claimed they said it took him 700 hours. I had seen the movie twice and knew the scene. I argued for the 70 hours.
I was laughing.
He was fuming.
I said, “Let’s bet on it. If it’s 700 hours, I will buy you the movie. If i’s 70 hours, you buy me the movie.”
This betting tactic worked to silence the argument; temporarily.
I now own the movie.
Don’t get me wrong; I am not saying I have never been wrong. I have been wrong PLENTY. I don’t have it figured out, but I know what I know.

You might have your own thoughts on why something doesn’t make sense, but truth is truth.
—
I hashed it out in life. Checked the answers and fought the battles within my own soul. I don’t know why things like 9-11 or the Boston Marathon happen. I don’t know why innocent souls are taken by evil men and haunted for years of their innocence. I don’t know why there is injustice that goes seemingly unpunished.
I don’t know the mind of God.
But I did the work. I “went to the shelves.” I found The Book. I don’t know the answers to every mystery, but it contains the truth.
How do I spell “salvation?” With the blood of the Lamb:
J-E-S-U-S C-H-R-I-S-T
I am a very lucky person when it comes to betting.
I am betting my life on this One.